I'll start this blogpost by saying this is absolutely not serious at all. This is a goofy post that is meant to be silly. I'm gonna go silly for this one so strap in and be prepared for an only mildly coherent rambling.

Let me catch you up to speed. Bowser's Pipe Yard is a location from the game Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story within Bowser's body. It is a room full of pipes that leads to several places within that game's version of the Mushroom Kingdom. Mechanically, it is a nice place, offering the ability to quickly get around as the bros. However, the mere existence of it leads to some terrifying implications.

There are two ways we can take this. The more boring way to take this would be to assume that the ends of the pipes inside Bowser were swallowed when he went super succ. The naive assumption from here would assume that the pipes are a normal size; they don't extend too far past their visible portion, and the bros. get teleported to the other end, getting scaled as they go. This assumption is naive as it ignores what we can clearly see when we open the map inside the Pipe Yard.

As we can clearly see, the pipes are very long and extend well beyond the portion visible during gameplay. If you're boring, you can simply apply the same logic as before, but now recognizing that the pipes are much longer. However, if you're not boring, we can come up with some fun theories...

What if the pipes automatically reconnect every time Bowser's foot touches the ground? In this case, are the pipes small enough that they don't feel like anything, or can Bowser feel a certain pain in each step? What if they are constantly out, only shifting around as Bowser moves? Could Bowser see the tiny pipes coming out of him as he faces away from the camera, in the bottom corner of his sight?

The other assumption we could make is even more terrifying. Given that Bowser didn't swallow the pipes, he might've always had them inside of him, either acquiring them at some point throughout his life or being born with them. The reason why this is terrifying (notwithstanding how Bowser could've acquired the pipes inside of him not through the Vacuum Shroom) is that it leads to the possible implication that there may be pipes out in the Mushroom Kingdom leading to the inside of other characters, and given that Bowser has multiple pipes leading into himself, this is likely the case.

What if Mario or Luigi had pipes that lead inside of them? How could a Mushroom Kingdom resident know who a pipe might lead into? And of course, what would happen if a character went into their own pipe?

In addition to considering these, we also would have to consider all the things we did before for how the pipes connect to the outside world. As a result, we have to wonder if, behind the jolly view that is the camera into the Mushroom Kingdom, there are eldritch-horror like spaghetti mixes of tiny pipes coming out of each resident's body. We have to consider how others may perceive this. We have to know if anyone going into the Mushroom Kingdom could see this happening to them. We need answers to this potentially terrifying problem.

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I'll leave you, the reader, with one last question to ponder. Is Bowser even aware he has pipes inside of him, leading directly from the outside to inside his body?